Am I alarmed that I could not churn out 1000 word essay in jolly good two hours. People say Kuwait was invaded in 5 min. But then just as an excuse, how much went into the preparation  - time , people ,ration, supplies, technology and money.  It's one of those excuses that kept me from doing what I need to do to keep my gray matter greased and ever convoluted than ever  and as gray as it can be.

That was once instance that subtly suggested (which I easily habitually and conveniently ignored) that I need to take up reading and do more of regular writing which can stimulate my imagination and thinking.  My brain has hardened and set like a cement. The only difference is the gray matter n grey matter. Otherwise my brain has lost all the convolutions.   I realized that whatever one reads  just settles  in and hardens like cement when one  doesnot exercise those ideas, words, designs  in writing. 

Not very long after that I had to write another two articles. What a pain it was,  like chronically constipated shitting.  Still I did not budge. But the guilt of  slowly murder of my brain is piling on. 

Then the 23rd April came. Just noticed 1 hr before it's expiry that it's world book and copywriter day. Reflected on the auspicious of the day and decided to start my pet project - writing.  Furiously Punched in the broad framework, key layout, and list of elements that made up 4 Pages.  Yes I did it in 30 min - even a skeleton idea is out there . 

Then today on 24thapril looked up blog of one of my fav blogger Kinga and found no new updates. Notthatihave read all. So made a mental note of commitment to read all over time starting from the oldest. Seeing her trepidations in the beginning, I mustered my courage to blog , even as bad a blogger i maybe.  Even  iamdrupa 's appreciation of artists as true to self despite deliriuness helped.  I figured out thatishoups have started to blog justto appease my insanity.  Rather than being critical of my own self subjecting to supposedly criticism that weren't even conceived inthe people I thought might see my blog. Crazy . But my fears are legitimized by the my most eloquent blogger I hold on pedestal.  Just realized as the one has to keep on blogging to capture the moments in  immortalized the thoughts and feelings for the moments that will never be repeated.  I w

Ill blog now. 

 N thought of opening a blog page brand new one. Thenbut found myself on my old blog and again read through my old articles. We'll started with tashi Stepanakert. Then1 to 2 hiccups a year. Total of seven. The last one was totalgreek to me.  The blog is  It was one year older than 11th five year plan.